I think I just made it. I hadn't thought of it very well so just as I cuffed my hands behind my back, I felt a slight cold breeze. It could have been my imagination or Ben had walked in just as I made it.
He wanted me in this way - plug, rubber surfsuit over it, collared, hooded, blindfolded, gagged and my hands cuffed behind my back. Under the hood were headphones playing white noise; over it, noise cancelling earmuffs.
I was already locked in my chastity device. In fact, I'm not sure I'd have gone with this meet if I weren't this horny.
He made me kneel there not knowing really if he was there or not for a while. Then I felt my knees touch something. I wasn't sure if he did that on purpose, or if it was just me moving about and accidentally knocked into him.
Either way, I knew for sure that he was there then and that's when it drove me most crazy. The moaning must have been quite fun to listen to.
For almost 45 minutes, he had me in that position. Once he knew that I was aware of his presence, he didn't do much to hide it, although it felt like he was deliberately not touching me.
On a couple of occasions, he'd give me a small dose of poppers. When that happened, I'd go into sub space, start humping the air or trying to ride the plug. I was so horny. Then, there was that one time when he just tapped on my cage several times - maybe to remind me that he was wanking and I was stuck in a chastity device.
There were three really hot moments though that I had not expected. And I'd want to do again!
The first was when he'd rub my chin. I wasn't sure what he was doing until I felt him rub against my cage after he did it. He was using my drool as lube to tease me and remind me I was locked. Drove me crazy.
Then, at one stage, he put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down. I'm not sure what signal it was but I ended up just putting my head to the ground. Whether intentionally or not, I felt him put his legs over my back. I've never been used as a furniture before and don't really think it's my thing, but at that moment, it was perfection. Especially at the moments he was obviously stroking himself and I could feel the vibration from his legs. He could wank, and I couldn't. Mindfuck.
The last thing was after this bit, when he pulled me up and rested my head on the sofa between his legs. I thought he was letting me rest, but I realised soon that this was because I was right by his dick and balls. Just being there, feeling the movement from his stroking was intense. Then he pulled me closer and held my head down to his crotch as he kept wanking, and finally came.
He pushed me back and I wasn't sure if he was done, or going for another round. But before I knew it, he tapped me twice on my shoulder, and I heard the door slam shut. He was gone and I was still horny as fuck.
Two things came to mind during the session that I'd have wanted but he didn't do. First, to hit my balls. I thought he might have when I felt one, but maybe it was an accident because he didn't do it again. The second is for him to give me a hit of poppers before he tapped me on the shoulder. It would have made me wonder if the scene was continuing, but also I imagine being on poppers and suddenly realising he was done with me and gone would have left me in quite a state.
But always next time, eh, Ben?
Monday, November 20, 2017
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
IML 2014 - Day 3
Things did indeed start to get better on Day 3. In retrospect, I think there were a few reasons for this.
First of all, I finally got some sleep the night before. Granted, I still went to bed quite late but I was less intoxicated, less unhappy (two orgasms do that!) and had learned from the night before. I was still cruising on the apps (the slippery slope continues) but didn't put too much expectations on it anymore.
I slept in again, yes, but because I was less horny and not trying to hard to hook up, I actually got proper sleep so I felt relatively rested. Also, I had things to look forward to including a session with J.
All of these gave me a different kind of confidence that were not there the first couple of days. This is the second reason. I think that having had two sessions, and the promise of one more, made me realise that I wasn't so much an outsider after all and helps tone down that chip on my shoulder. It wasn't that no one was interested in me.
This realisation helped me ease up a bit and I also came out of my shell a bit. I chatted to some people in the elevators, mingled a bit more at the lobby and for the first time, properly dressed the part without worrying about what people were thinking (in most cases, I think, they didn't care considering how much fetish gear everyone had on).
The final reason, I think was that I had decided to go out of the hotel for the first time since I stepped in (quick meals didn't count). It was always my plan to take one morning off from the weekend to visit the Sears Tower. The original plan of waking up early for it didn't happen, but at least I caught up on sleep.
That was basically what I did the moment I woke up and showered, taking the Metro over. It was a bit late and I joined the long queue anyway, even if they told me it was going to take a couple of hours at least. The line outside the building looked like it was going pretty fast and it did, I spent about 45 minutes before I got into the building and up to the higher level floor only to discover that there was another two hour line.
I decided to leave despite having queued for so long as I had my appointment at 2.30pm and I wanted to get lunch first. After a quick bite, I tried to look for the station to take the Metro back only to discover that I couldn't find it. So I ended up walking back to the hotel which took a while but the walk, too, did me good.
I had some time before my meet with J so I went back to the Marketplace to do some shopping (retail therapy could arguably be reason #4). I ended up purchasing quite a bit - a leather shirt I've always wanted, two kink-themed T-shirts, a leather arm band as well as a grey hanky.
While shopping, I met T who was manning one of the booths I bought stuff from. I had met him the first day while walking around with B (they are friends) but we never spoke. I was very apprehensive - I felt I knew so much about the guy from Twitter, Recon and the Internet in general that I was a bit starstruck.
We got to talking in general and got along really well. Despite that, I was caught totally off-guard when he told me to wait before I left after paying, and wrote down his phone number on a piece of paper and passed it to me. He asked me to get in touch and see if we could get some play going later that night.
I was more than excited - of course I want to play!
But first, I had an appointment to get to. This session was amazing because it was the first time I was in a full sensory deprivation position. I had gotten to J's room and there were a few people in there, one of whom was just leaving. But his roommate N was there together with their friend Z who was just lazing casually on the bed chatting.
I felt a bit awkward at first as I wasn't sure what to do so I just sat there and chatted where I could; I could follow a bit of the conversation. I'm not sure if J realised this, or it was jsut time, but he asked me to slip into my sleeveless rubber wetsuit that I had brought along with me.
I looked around the room and realised that they weren't moving so I just stripped right there and put it on as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I think it was moments like that which made me realise how normal this is for most people and that I've been worrying over nothing.
Still, midway through changing, N and Z decided to go for a walk and leave me alone with J. Soon, I was put into a rubber sleepsack and a blackout gas mask. I felt him strapping me down to the bed so there was no way I could really move in the sleepsack. I was stuck.
It was then that he told me that he was going to put some noise cancelling headphones on me with white noise. It was the most bizarre feeling ever and I had to try very hard to concentrate to keep track of things. I felt him caressing the sleepsack and slowly unzipping the area near my crotch and pull my cock and balls out.
That was as far as I could keep up because I slowly dosed off and kept going in and out of consciousness. The random edging jolted me awake and I'd signal to him everytime I was close. Then I'd start dreaming and then I'd wake up again until suddenly one time, he just kept going and I finally came. A lot.
Spent, I just lay there as he loosened the straps and then took off the headphones and mask only for me to realise that N and Z had come back. They then told me that I was in there for a full two hours, and that they had been back for a while and were talking at normal level but I just couldn't hear. I found out too that Z took some turns with the edging, which thrilled me because I thought that both he and N were really cute.
I would have liked knowing they had come back midway through - it turns me on to be surprised like that - but seeing them after made me want to cum again right there. I was that turned on.
I rested for a bit after and texted T to make arrangements for the night. He was out at the actual competition till late so he said he'll message me when he's back to meet up. After that session with J and feeling buoyant about the whole weekend, that would have been amazing.
But it was not to happen. He texted me a bit from the competition and as he was leaving, but then just went silent. I was downstairs hanging out at the lobby with a couple of friends waiting to hear from him but nothing came through.
So I decided to go to bed even earlier to mask the dissapointment, plus I wanted to really wake up early the next morning to actually finally get up Sears Tower.
I remember being quite melancholy in bed but then reminded myself that I've had three great sessions - including two out of the three people I really wanted to meet before I even showed up that weekend - plus some new experiences including spending some time watching a huge number of pups at Woof Camp and meeting a couple of other people I know from Twitter for the first time.
I went to bed horny and a bit down but knew I couldn't be too disappointed. And there was tomorrow to look forward to.
First of all, I finally got some sleep the night before. Granted, I still went to bed quite late but I was less intoxicated, less unhappy (two orgasms do that!) and had learned from the night before. I was still cruising on the apps (the slippery slope continues) but didn't put too much expectations on it anymore.
I slept in again, yes, but because I was less horny and not trying to hard to hook up, I actually got proper sleep so I felt relatively rested. Also, I had things to look forward to including a session with J.
All of these gave me a different kind of confidence that were not there the first couple of days. This is the second reason. I think that having had two sessions, and the promise of one more, made me realise that I wasn't so much an outsider after all and helps tone down that chip on my shoulder. It wasn't that no one was interested in me.
This realisation helped me ease up a bit and I also came out of my shell a bit. I chatted to some people in the elevators, mingled a bit more at the lobby and for the first time, properly dressed the part without worrying about what people were thinking (in most cases, I think, they didn't care considering how much fetish gear everyone had on).
The final reason, I think was that I had decided to go out of the hotel for the first time since I stepped in (quick meals didn't count). It was always my plan to take one morning off from the weekend to visit the Sears Tower. The original plan of waking up early for it didn't happen, but at least I caught up on sleep.
That was basically what I did the moment I woke up and showered, taking the Metro over. It was a bit late and I joined the long queue anyway, even if they told me it was going to take a couple of hours at least. The line outside the building looked like it was going pretty fast and it did, I spent about 45 minutes before I got into the building and up to the higher level floor only to discover that there was another two hour line.
I decided to leave despite having queued for so long as I had my appointment at 2.30pm and I wanted to get lunch first. After a quick bite, I tried to look for the station to take the Metro back only to discover that I couldn't find it. So I ended up walking back to the hotel which took a while but the walk, too, did me good.
I had some time before my meet with J so I went back to the Marketplace to do some shopping (retail therapy could arguably be reason #4). I ended up purchasing quite a bit - a leather shirt I've always wanted, two kink-themed T-shirts, a leather arm band as well as a grey hanky.
While shopping, I met T who was manning one of the booths I bought stuff from. I had met him the first day while walking around with B (they are friends) but we never spoke. I was very apprehensive - I felt I knew so much about the guy from Twitter, Recon and the Internet in general that I was a bit starstruck.
We got to talking in general and got along really well. Despite that, I was caught totally off-guard when he told me to wait before I left after paying, and wrote down his phone number on a piece of paper and passed it to me. He asked me to get in touch and see if we could get some play going later that night.
I was more than excited - of course I want to play!
But first, I had an appointment to get to. This session was amazing because it was the first time I was in a full sensory deprivation position. I had gotten to J's room and there were a few people in there, one of whom was just leaving. But his roommate N was there together with their friend Z who was just lazing casually on the bed chatting.
I felt a bit awkward at first as I wasn't sure what to do so I just sat there and chatted where I could; I could follow a bit of the conversation. I'm not sure if J realised this, or it was jsut time, but he asked me to slip into my sleeveless rubber wetsuit that I had brought along with me.
I looked around the room and realised that they weren't moving so I just stripped right there and put it on as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I think it was moments like that which made me realise how normal this is for most people and that I've been worrying over nothing.
Still, midway through changing, N and Z decided to go for a walk and leave me alone with J. Soon, I was put into a rubber sleepsack and a blackout gas mask. I felt him strapping me down to the bed so there was no way I could really move in the sleepsack. I was stuck.
It was then that he told me that he was going to put some noise cancelling headphones on me with white noise. It was the most bizarre feeling ever and I had to try very hard to concentrate to keep track of things. I felt him caressing the sleepsack and slowly unzipping the area near my crotch and pull my cock and balls out.
That was as far as I could keep up because I slowly dosed off and kept going in and out of consciousness. The random edging jolted me awake and I'd signal to him everytime I was close. Then I'd start dreaming and then I'd wake up again until suddenly one time, he just kept going and I finally came. A lot.
Spent, I just lay there as he loosened the straps and then took off the headphones and mask only for me to realise that N and Z had come back. They then told me that I was in there for a full two hours, and that they had been back for a while and were talking at normal level but I just couldn't hear. I found out too that Z took some turns with the edging, which thrilled me because I thought that both he and N were really cute.
I would have liked knowing they had come back midway through - it turns me on to be surprised like that - but seeing them after made me want to cum again right there. I was that turned on.
I rested for a bit after and texted T to make arrangements for the night. He was out at the actual competition till late so he said he'll message me when he's back to meet up. After that session with J and feeling buoyant about the whole weekend, that would have been amazing.
But it was not to happen. He texted me a bit from the competition and as he was leaving, but then just went silent. I was downstairs hanging out at the lobby with a couple of friends waiting to hear from him but nothing came through.
So I decided to go to bed even earlier to mask the dissapointment, plus I wanted to really wake up early the next morning to actually finally get up Sears Tower.
I remember being quite melancholy in bed but then reminded myself that I've had three great sessions - including two out of the three people I really wanted to meet before I even showed up that weekend - plus some new experiences including spending some time watching a huge number of pups at Woof Camp and meeting a couple of other people I know from Twitter for the first time.
I went to bed horny and a bit down but knew I couldn't be too disappointed. And there was tomorrow to look forward to.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
IML 2014 - Day Two
Day 2 of my IML was off to a horrible start. For one, I was still a little jet lagged but going to bed at five-something AM really wrecked my system. I didn't sleep very good - disappointed from lack of play, intense horniness and well, wearing a CB to bed might have been a bad idea.
I woke up very late in the morning with a bad headache and still dazed from lack of sleep but I wanted to get my day going. I sent a few friends some messages to see what they were up to (as well as a couple of people I was hoping to play with but they had not committed to anything).
B, who had earlier suggested some bondage time over the weekend, replied and said that he might have some time for bondage if I was keen. Obviously, I was. I've been wanting to play with him for the longest time and after all that time of online friendship, I was glad to be spending some time with him again.
I had to grab a quick bite for breakfast first, however, with my state of tiredness, I wanted to make sure I had enough energy for play. After a few exchange of messages - we were going to play in my room but then he suggested his room because there were more gear there - I found myself heading up to his room with my bag of gear and a thumping heart.
We had spoken a bit about interest and limits (well, he knew a lot but I guess it was worth revisiting since we had only just properly met) and I knew that he was going to put me in his sleep sack. He also mentioned that he was with a friend L and if it was okay that he joined in. I love group play like that, especially where I'm the sub, so it was more than okay with me!
But, like how the day started, things didn't go so well from the start. For one, I forgot to bring along the keys to my CB! So, I had to go through the whole arduous journey of busy elevators again (I think I ended up taking the staircase down) and up again just to make sure I got some decent play.
The session was pretty short, but really fun. We weren't alone - two others were in the room next door and very loud. It was a pretty hot environment - I've always fantasised about spending some time together with a bunch of kinksters in a room and different people just doing their thing, some playing, some chatting like a good bunch of friends.
It didn't take me long to get naked and into the sleepsack. B put a neoprene hood on me, to go with the neoprene sleepsack, and very soon I was immobile and totally encased except for my CB hanging out. It soon came off and there were lots of teasing of my nipples and cock, edging me but not letting me cum.
The session went on for about an hour, which would be a long time for edging, but it felt pretty short. The problem, going back to mistake #2 I mentioned in the previous post, was that I hadn't cum in a few days and had warned B of this. I'm not sure if he was being particularly careful about it, or that it kept playing on my mind, but I spent more time worrying about cumming too soon instead of just immersing myself in the experience.
When I finally came it felt great, but I'm also the kind of person who just have a good nice orgasm after some days of denial, but it really was the second orgasm that blows my mind. Still, it was pretty hot listening to B speak to L about me while teasing me, suggesting locking me back up in the CB among other things.
After I came, and had the hood removed, I realised the other two guys from the other room were also there which was pretty hot. I really enjoyed the experience - especially at the hands of B - but I did leave wishing it had gone on for longer.
As we left the room altogether, we bumped into another friend of theirs who said that he was hosting a bondage afternoon of sorts in the room and invited everyone to come along. I bade farewell to them at the elevators as they were heading to the marketplace and a quick lunch, while I wanted to get a quick nap to make sure I had more energy for the rest of the day. Mistake #6.
For one, I crashed and didn't wake up till past the time the bondage afternoon was happening. I did text B to see if it was still going on and, going back to my insecurities, was hoping he'd ask me to join in but he just spoke about what was happening. I didn't feel it was my place to invite myself and wasn't sure if I was included in the invite in the first place. All these thoughts played on my mind so it messed me up pretty bad.
So I did what someone on the slippery slope would do (mistake #5), I wasted the rest of the afternoon trying to cruise someone to play with, the horniness stemming from a lack of orgasm number two driving me into insanity.
I sent a tweet then that read: "Expectations vs Reality. Rookie mistake." It really was a mix of the post-chastity downer, ridiculous expectations of how sessions should be and kicking myself about missing that afternoon session (I didn't even really need to be tied down, I just really wanted to belong).
After a few hours, I managed to hook up with F, who had messaged me a few days before I made my trip. Truth be told, I wasn't terribly keen to meet him because he seemed a bit eager (a trait that usually ring bells in my head, ironically because I can be pretty eager myself) but at that point, I thought, what the heck.
It turned out to be a good decision - F was a pretty nice guy, and I loved his rope bondage. We had slightly more time than my earlier session but he had dinner plans so it wasn't too long either. But I was nicely roped into a frog tie position and edged for a bit before I was allowed to cum.
When he left, I was feeling my better about myself and in better spirits having managed two sessions in a day. It still wasn't enough but it was hell of an improvement from Day 1.
So I made plans for dinner with A, and his friends. We had a good time at dinner before heading back to the hotel for more drinks. His friends - one of whom is J - were staying at a different hotel so they were going to change first so A and I went back to the hotel and changed as well.
That night was spent at the lobby and a lot of flirting with J. In the end, we ended up in my room. We were geared up but it look set to be a night of just regular sex - which was more than fine with me, he was quite hot. It was hot making out with him and playing a bit but we didn't go very far as he wasn't very sober and let's just say, aware.
I did a bit more online cruising before bed but decided that I didn't want the same thing from Day 1 happening again so I turned the devices off and went to bed. I slept much better than I did the night before. Things were starting to look up.
I woke up very late in the morning with a bad headache and still dazed from lack of sleep but I wanted to get my day going. I sent a few friends some messages to see what they were up to (as well as a couple of people I was hoping to play with but they had not committed to anything).
B, who had earlier suggested some bondage time over the weekend, replied and said that he might have some time for bondage if I was keen. Obviously, I was. I've been wanting to play with him for the longest time and after all that time of online friendship, I was glad to be spending some time with him again.
I had to grab a quick bite for breakfast first, however, with my state of tiredness, I wanted to make sure I had enough energy for play. After a few exchange of messages - we were going to play in my room but then he suggested his room because there were more gear there - I found myself heading up to his room with my bag of gear and a thumping heart.
We had spoken a bit about interest and limits (well, he knew a lot but I guess it was worth revisiting since we had only just properly met) and I knew that he was going to put me in his sleep sack. He also mentioned that he was with a friend L and if it was okay that he joined in. I love group play like that, especially where I'm the sub, so it was more than okay with me!
But, like how the day started, things didn't go so well from the start. For one, I forgot to bring along the keys to my CB! So, I had to go through the whole arduous journey of busy elevators again (I think I ended up taking the staircase down) and up again just to make sure I got some decent play.
The session was pretty short, but really fun. We weren't alone - two others were in the room next door and very loud. It was a pretty hot environment - I've always fantasised about spending some time together with a bunch of kinksters in a room and different people just doing their thing, some playing, some chatting like a good bunch of friends.
It didn't take me long to get naked and into the sleepsack. B put a neoprene hood on me, to go with the neoprene sleepsack, and very soon I was immobile and totally encased except for my CB hanging out. It soon came off and there were lots of teasing of my nipples and cock, edging me but not letting me cum.
The session went on for about an hour, which would be a long time for edging, but it felt pretty short. The problem, going back to mistake #2 I mentioned in the previous post, was that I hadn't cum in a few days and had warned B of this. I'm not sure if he was being particularly careful about it, or that it kept playing on my mind, but I spent more time worrying about cumming too soon instead of just immersing myself in the experience.
When I finally came it felt great, but I'm also the kind of person who just have a good nice orgasm after some days of denial, but it really was the second orgasm that blows my mind. Still, it was pretty hot listening to B speak to L about me while teasing me, suggesting locking me back up in the CB among other things.
After I came, and had the hood removed, I realised the other two guys from the other room were also there which was pretty hot. I really enjoyed the experience - especially at the hands of B - but I did leave wishing it had gone on for longer.
As we left the room altogether, we bumped into another friend of theirs who said that he was hosting a bondage afternoon of sorts in the room and invited everyone to come along. I bade farewell to them at the elevators as they were heading to the marketplace and a quick lunch, while I wanted to get a quick nap to make sure I had more energy for the rest of the day. Mistake #6.
For one, I crashed and didn't wake up till past the time the bondage afternoon was happening. I did text B to see if it was still going on and, going back to my insecurities, was hoping he'd ask me to join in but he just spoke about what was happening. I didn't feel it was my place to invite myself and wasn't sure if I was included in the invite in the first place. All these thoughts played on my mind so it messed me up pretty bad.
So I did what someone on the slippery slope would do (mistake #5), I wasted the rest of the afternoon trying to cruise someone to play with, the horniness stemming from a lack of orgasm number two driving me into insanity.
I sent a tweet then that read: "Expectations vs Reality. Rookie mistake." It really was a mix of the post-chastity downer, ridiculous expectations of how sessions should be and kicking myself about missing that afternoon session (I didn't even really need to be tied down, I just really wanted to belong).
After a few hours, I managed to hook up with F, who had messaged me a few days before I made my trip. Truth be told, I wasn't terribly keen to meet him because he seemed a bit eager (a trait that usually ring bells in my head, ironically because I can be pretty eager myself) but at that point, I thought, what the heck.
It turned out to be a good decision - F was a pretty nice guy, and I loved his rope bondage. We had slightly more time than my earlier session but he had dinner plans so it wasn't too long either. But I was nicely roped into a frog tie position and edged for a bit before I was allowed to cum.
When he left, I was feeling my better about myself and in better spirits having managed two sessions in a day. It still wasn't enough but it was hell of an improvement from Day 1.
So I made plans for dinner with A, and his friends. We had a good time at dinner before heading back to the hotel for more drinks. His friends - one of whom is J - were staying at a different hotel so they were going to change first so A and I went back to the hotel and changed as well.
That night was spent at the lobby and a lot of flirting with J. In the end, we ended up in my room. We were geared up but it look set to be a night of just regular sex - which was more than fine with me, he was quite hot. It was hot making out with him and playing a bit but we didn't go very far as he wasn't very sober and let's just say, aware.
I did a bit more online cruising before bed but decided that I didn't want the same thing from Day 1 happening again so I turned the devices off and went to bed. I slept much better than I did the night before. Things were starting to look up.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
IML 2014 - Day One
I am very aware that it has been almost four months to the day since IML and as such, the accuracy of the following few paragraphs might have been compromised.
The truth is, following the last statements I made in the previous post as a disclaimer for this series of upcoming ones, I was afraid to revisit those days for fear of crumbling emotionally.
Then, the past few days happened, and I crumbled anyway. So I had a thought - made a decision, rather - that I would embrace the experience and appreciate that for four days, I got to be who I was, as opposed to being afraid it would remind me of those moments.
Because the truth is, those moments happened and they were quite an experience. And if I'm going to be stuck here where I am, then I might as well appreciate what little of "the world I belong to" I can get.
One Day One, that world lay behind the doors of The Marriott Magnificent Mile, in a city I had never been in my life. I had arrived a couple of days earlier to soak in the city - I have a wanderlust that needs as much pacifying as my itch for kink does - and ordered an Uber car early that morning to check in.
I already knew that some "friends" (people I knew online, but have never met in person) were there. I had been invited to hang out the night before, but I declined - a decision, I think, I will continue to regret for a long time.
As I dragged my bag to the entrance, I was stopped by a burly man asking, "Are you here for the event?" I wasn't expecting such a question and just muttered a, "Yeah" - it didn't occur to me that the next four days was going to be an "event".
Walking through the doors, nervous and excited at the same time, my senses were incredibly heightened - I'll be this is how Dorothy felt going through the gates to Emerald City (incidentally, did you know Chicago has a park called Oz and there are statues of Dorothy and all her friends scattered around it?).
I tried not to stare as guys (some of whom looked like they just woke up) in gear were mingling around the lobby area. Because some of the current guests haven't yet checked out, the space was still being set up but a bright, sparkly receptionist brought me out of my daze.
She was chatty and extremely friendly, which put me at ease, until she said: "You're a little overdressed." I was in a pair of jeans and T-shirt, holding on to my leather jacket. I must have blushed 50 shades of red.
In my room, I took a while to settle in. Settling in includes taking pictures of the great view, looking at maps of the area to see where I can hide and well, checking Grindr and Recon out. I have never in my life seen such activity on those apps. I was in heaven. And this was my first slip on the slippery slope of sexpectations (mistake #1).
But it wasn't all cruising. I wanted to get in touch with people on Recon and Twitter to let them know I've checked in.
"What are you wearing?" I asked my friend B, who I've known for several years. I was most excited to see him because I feel we've built a nice friendship over the years, which included periods where he would keep my in chastity remotely.
We finally met in the marketplace, after I spent about an hour alone roaming around trying to soak it all in. I was in a pair of jeans, T-shirt and my boots, the only "gear-like" thing I had on other than the CB6000 I put on when I first got to the hotel. I hadn't cum in a few days in anticipation of the event (mistake #2), and thought it'd be fun to put it on.
I hung around with B and met some of his friends. It was a bit awkward. We hadn't met before so I really loved the hug but found it hard to fit in. It was more me than them, I was extremely self-conscious and I kept asking myself if B was just being polite or if he really didn't mind me hanging around them. I hung around anyway.
Mistake #3 was deciding I needed to get a jacket when everyone decided that it was time for lunch. They didn't have much time so it had to be quick, but a flood of people had started checking in so the elevators took forever. By the time I was heading back down, I had gotten a message that they were going to head out first and I was welcome to join them.
Except that I didn't know the area at all and Google Maps took me to two different outlets and I still couldn't find them. I had walked around, rushing to make lunch, for over 30 minutes by then and so I gave up and grabbed a bite from somewhere nearby before heading back to the hotel.
I went back to the marketplace for a bit but in the end, just headed back to my room to rest (and go on Grindr and Recon - the slippery slope continues) until my other friend A arrived. I let him settle in before we caught up in the marketplace and then had some dinner. I was much more comfortable with him as we were actually physical friends. I would end up being extremely grateful to have A around for the next few days.
A was going to head to some event which I wasn't too keen on so we went back to our rooms. At this point, I got to catch up with S and A2, whose rooms were literally just across from mine. We hadn't met before but chatted often on Twitter.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to head down for GearBlast because I wasn't sure I had enough gear. I'd already been wearing my leather trousers and boots in the evening and my rubber suit doesn't work with the CB.
S decided that he'd let me use his rubber shorts and rubber T-shirt. The shorts fit perfectly, although the T-shirt was a bit big but I had come all the way and they weren't going to let me not head down for some parties.
It turned out to be pretty nice. Different bunch of friends where there. B and A were there with their friends, and of course, I was with S and A2 with their other friends. Eventually though, everyone went away to do their own thing (read: play) and I had no plans so I went back to S and A2's room for more drinks and drinking games.
I was about to leave at some point in the middle of the night when we got attacked by a pack of pups - we had left the door latch undone for some reason and some people took it as an open invitation.
It was most interesting. I have met pups in my life but never really engaged with them much but this was about 10 of them, drinks in hand, all geared up and very excited. A2 and I just stood back and watched everything unfold in the room - it was quite a sight! I really loved that everyone was so relaxed and non-judgemental in there.
I made the mistake (#4) of trying to befriend a couple of them (I even developed a pup crush on one - R) though - I'd learn over the next few days that people who are drunk don't remember you when they meet you next.
Eventually, everyone left and I popped back to my room. By the end of the day, horn was high and I was feeling a bit down from the fact that I'd been there for a whole day and was nowhere closer to any play at all.
I stayed up really late, till almost 6am, trying to hookup which became mistake #5. In four days, it never happened.
I wish I could say that I slept like a baby, but between being completely tired, horny and being excitable from the whole day - it wasn't very good rest.
Still, I had a few days to look forward to. B, who I wasn't sure wanted to play in person or not before we met (I didn't want to be presumptuous), did mention some time earlier in the day that he'd like to have me restrained (which made me very happy). But as is the situation at IML, very few people actually commits to plans ahead of time, especially if you're new friends, so I had to go to bed wondering if my next few days would be exactly like day one - horned up, a little bit sad and most of all, not quite sure what was going on.
The truth is, following the last statements I made in the previous post as a disclaimer for this series of upcoming ones, I was afraid to revisit those days for fear of crumbling emotionally.
Then, the past few days happened, and I crumbled anyway. So I had a thought - made a decision, rather - that I would embrace the experience and appreciate that for four days, I got to be who I was, as opposed to being afraid it would remind me of those moments.
Because the truth is, those moments happened and they were quite an experience. And if I'm going to be stuck here where I am, then I might as well appreciate what little of "the world I belong to" I can get.
One Day One, that world lay behind the doors of The Marriott Magnificent Mile, in a city I had never been in my life. I had arrived a couple of days earlier to soak in the city - I have a wanderlust that needs as much pacifying as my itch for kink does - and ordered an Uber car early that morning to check in.
I already knew that some "friends" (people I knew online, but have never met in person) were there. I had been invited to hang out the night before, but I declined - a decision, I think, I will continue to regret for a long time.
As I dragged my bag to the entrance, I was stopped by a burly man asking, "Are you here for the event?" I wasn't expecting such a question and just muttered a, "Yeah" - it didn't occur to me that the next four days was going to be an "event".
Walking through the doors, nervous and excited at the same time, my senses were incredibly heightened - I'll be this is how Dorothy felt going through the gates to Emerald City (incidentally, did you know Chicago has a park called Oz and there are statues of Dorothy and all her friends scattered around it?).
I tried not to stare as guys (some of whom looked like they just woke up) in gear were mingling around the lobby area. Because some of the current guests haven't yet checked out, the space was still being set up but a bright, sparkly receptionist brought me out of my daze.
She was chatty and extremely friendly, which put me at ease, until she said: "You're a little overdressed." I was in a pair of jeans and T-shirt, holding on to my leather jacket. I must have blushed 50 shades of red.
In my room, I took a while to settle in. Settling in includes taking pictures of the great view, looking at maps of the area to see where I can hide and well, checking Grindr and Recon out. I have never in my life seen such activity on those apps. I was in heaven. And this was my first slip on the slippery slope of sexpectations (mistake #1).
But it wasn't all cruising. I wanted to get in touch with people on Recon and Twitter to let them know I've checked in.
"What are you wearing?" I asked my friend B, who I've known for several years. I was most excited to see him because I feel we've built a nice friendship over the years, which included periods where he would keep my in chastity remotely.
We finally met in the marketplace, after I spent about an hour alone roaming around trying to soak it all in. I was in a pair of jeans, T-shirt and my boots, the only "gear-like" thing I had on other than the CB6000 I put on when I first got to the hotel. I hadn't cum in a few days in anticipation of the event (mistake #2), and thought it'd be fun to put it on.
I hung around with B and met some of his friends. It was a bit awkward. We hadn't met before so I really loved the hug but found it hard to fit in. It was more me than them, I was extremely self-conscious and I kept asking myself if B was just being polite or if he really didn't mind me hanging around them. I hung around anyway.
Mistake #3 was deciding I needed to get a jacket when everyone decided that it was time for lunch. They didn't have much time so it had to be quick, but a flood of people had started checking in so the elevators took forever. By the time I was heading back down, I had gotten a message that they were going to head out first and I was welcome to join them.
Except that I didn't know the area at all and Google Maps took me to two different outlets and I still couldn't find them. I had walked around, rushing to make lunch, for over 30 minutes by then and so I gave up and grabbed a bite from somewhere nearby before heading back to the hotel.
I went back to the marketplace for a bit but in the end, just headed back to my room to rest (and go on Grindr and Recon - the slippery slope continues) until my other friend A arrived. I let him settle in before we caught up in the marketplace and then had some dinner. I was much more comfortable with him as we were actually physical friends. I would end up being extremely grateful to have A around for the next few days.
A was going to head to some event which I wasn't too keen on so we went back to our rooms. At this point, I got to catch up with S and A2, whose rooms were literally just across from mine. We hadn't met before but chatted often on Twitter.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to head down for GearBlast because I wasn't sure I had enough gear. I'd already been wearing my leather trousers and boots in the evening and my rubber suit doesn't work with the CB.
S decided that he'd let me use his rubber shorts and rubber T-shirt. The shorts fit perfectly, although the T-shirt was a bit big but I had come all the way and they weren't going to let me not head down for some parties.
It turned out to be pretty nice. Different bunch of friends where there. B and A were there with their friends, and of course, I was with S and A2 with their other friends. Eventually though, everyone went away to do their own thing (read: play) and I had no plans so I went back to S and A2's room for more drinks and drinking games.
I was about to leave at some point in the middle of the night when we got attacked by a pack of pups - we had left the door latch undone for some reason and some people took it as an open invitation.
It was most interesting. I have met pups in my life but never really engaged with them much but this was about 10 of them, drinks in hand, all geared up and very excited. A2 and I just stood back and watched everything unfold in the room - it was quite a sight! I really loved that everyone was so relaxed and non-judgemental in there.
I made the mistake (#4) of trying to befriend a couple of them (I even developed a pup crush on one - R) though - I'd learn over the next few days that people who are drunk don't remember you when they meet you next.
Eventually, everyone left and I popped back to my room. By the end of the day, horn was high and I was feeling a bit down from the fact that I'd been there for a whole day and was nowhere closer to any play at all.
I stayed up really late, till almost 6am, trying to hookup which became mistake #5. In four days, it never happened.
I wish I could say that I slept like a baby, but between being completely tired, horny and being excitable from the whole day - it wasn't very good rest.
Still, I had a few days to look forward to. B, who I wasn't sure wanted to play in person or not before we met (I didn't want to be presumptuous), did mention some time earlier in the day that he'd like to have me restrained (which made me very happy). But as is the situation at IML, very few people actually commits to plans ahead of time, especially if you're new friends, so I had to go to bed wondering if my next few days would be exactly like day one - horned up, a little bit sad and most of all, not quite sure what was going on.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
IML 2014 reflections - The first post
This post is probably more a disclaimer than a story. It is exactly a month today that my IML came to an end (as you will see in my later post, it ended a day earlier for many other people - much to my dismay) and I have avoided talking about my experience to many people.
This was for two reasons:
1. I was still processing the whole experience.
2. I found that the things I was saying to people who have asked to have come out as negative, and I didn't want people to think I didn't have a fantastic time because in many ways, I did.
But as with most things in life, I wished I had done things differently. Although my journey into kink goes back more than two decades, I still grapple with two major things that have caused me a lot of setbacks and disappointment - my lack of trust in people and my insecurities.
So, as I spend the next few post reliving one of the most momentous moments in my kink life, there will be many references to unhappiness, dissatisfaction and more. What I need for anyone reading them - especially the people I met and have befriended - is that I appreciate that the fault lie directly with me.
While I make comments about how I wished people had done things, responded to me or offered things differently, I am more than aware that I have no right to expect it of them. Especially since I never really told them how I felt. They had no way of knowing.
My highlights were really meeting old friends, online friends and new friends. It sounds cliche but coming from a background where I have so few friends who know about my kinks, let alone are kinky, I really appreciated being able to share my life with like-minded people. The play sessions were equally as amazing (although I do wish I got more play and different types of play as well).
And of course the shopping. But I think the one thing I am most grateful for was that for four days, I could just be myself, never mind that it took me almost two days to actually "be" myself.
Having said all that, I'm not sure if I will go back for another IML. Having a downer from four days of being oneself is one thing, but having a downer and then coming back home to a place where everyday is a kink downer is another.
For wont of being dramatic, I don't know if my emotional wellbeing can take it. I thoroughly enjoyed what IML offered me, I just don't know if I can leave it all behind the way I was forced to again.
This was for two reasons:
1. I was still processing the whole experience.
2. I found that the things I was saying to people who have asked to have come out as negative, and I didn't want people to think I didn't have a fantastic time because in many ways, I did.
But as with most things in life, I wished I had done things differently. Although my journey into kink goes back more than two decades, I still grapple with two major things that have caused me a lot of setbacks and disappointment - my lack of trust in people and my insecurities.
So, as I spend the next few post reliving one of the most momentous moments in my kink life, there will be many references to unhappiness, dissatisfaction and more. What I need for anyone reading them - especially the people I met and have befriended - is that I appreciate that the fault lie directly with me.
While I make comments about how I wished people had done things, responded to me or offered things differently, I am more than aware that I have no right to expect it of them. Especially since I never really told them how I felt. They had no way of knowing.
My highlights were really meeting old friends, online friends and new friends. It sounds cliche but coming from a background where I have so few friends who know about my kinks, let alone are kinky, I really appreciated being able to share my life with like-minded people. The play sessions were equally as amazing (although I do wish I got more play and different types of play as well).
And of course the shopping. But I think the one thing I am most grateful for was that for four days, I could just be myself, never mind that it took me almost two days to actually "be" myself.
Having said all that, I'm not sure if I will go back for another IML. Having a downer from four days of being oneself is one thing, but having a downer and then coming back home to a place where everyday is a kink downer is another.
For wont of being dramatic, I don't know if my emotional wellbeing can take it. I thoroughly enjoyed what IML offered me, I just don't know if I can leave it all behind the way I was forced to again.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Trying to play host
I still remember watching him walk past me the first time I set my eyes on him. He was hot and everyone else in the room knew that. We were at an event night during Fetish Week and I was already a regular at this place, so I knew some people there.
My friends agreed with me when I walked up to them, poked them and pointed at him while whining, "He's so hot!"
It was until much later that I summoned the courage to speak to him. He was seated in the corner at the back of the room and he was talking to some people. He didn't look like he wanted to talk to them. I only spotted this because I was heading to the toilets nearby. Wanting to get a little close to him, I plonked my beer down nearby him as I walked away, hoping to start a conversation with him when I got back.
It took about 10 minutes before I had the courage to smile at him. After that, it was pretty easy. He was very nice and we exchanged formalities. I then told him how much I really liked his boots, although I'm not really into boots myself. A couple of my friends came up and chatted to us, and at one point, he even let me try out the cuffs and a collar with a zapper.
At one point, I asked him what he was into, and if he was more Dominant or submissive. He looked at me aghast, and asked: "What do I look like to you?"
He had a mohawk of sorts, a beard. He wore a T-shirt that read: "Rough" and a waistcoat over. There was a leather armband too. He had his jeans folded up until just below his knees, only just covering the top of the most beautiful pair of knee high boots. Around his waist were several items including cuffs, floggers and a collar. One his face, there was a really nice eyebrow piercing and he had a couple of other ear piercings as well.
I think that was the defining moment when I realised I could trust him - he handed me the controller and said to test it myself. If you read my previous post, I don't trust people all to easily. That is one of the reasons why I haven't explored too much of being a submissive (as opposed to just being submissive).
A lot of our conversation centred around some of the things he's interested in, and why he didn't seem to be having too good a time that night. At one point, I suggested he go around and see if he can find someone to play with - I assured him that he would be hot property. He took my advice and left, and I regretted it immediately.
My friends all noticed this, so when he came back empty-handed, one of them turned to him and said, "You should tie someone up" while pointing at me. He looked at me, I blushed and that's all that needed to be said. He grabbed my hand and took me to a pillar in the middle of the room.
It started pretty simple. He roped my legs up real tight (I already knew he would be rough - his T-shirt said it all - but this pretty much confirmed it) to the pillar. Then, he added more rope around my body to my legs and the pillar. I thought it was a bit odd that he'd leave my hands free but he must have read my mind because right then, he started fiddling with something above my head.
He was fixing something so that my hands can be suspended above my head, stretching me out. Well played.
When I was sufficiently secured, he put a ball gag into my mouth. I wasn't just helpless at this stage ... I wanted to be helpless to him.
He digged into his bag and I saw him remove a head of clothes pegs. I knew pain was coming as he started pinching around my body, looking for the best places to attach the pegs. What I didn't expect was the last two - each peg had a piece of string attached to it. Yup, he was going to zip-line them and rip them off.
I was really afraid, but I totally got into it. He ripped one side at a time and I screamed into the gag. Afterwards, a few people would come up to me and tell me how painful it all looked. It did hurt, but I was willing to take the pain for him.
At that point, he took the gag off and I thought it was over. "That was quick," I said to myself but obviously, I thought too soon. He removed two forceps hooked to his waist and waved them in front of me. I've never tried them before so I was a bit scared. When they came on, they hurt a lot - and I had just endured some intense pain before!
But he was not just going to let them hang there. He took out two long elastic bands which had hooks on either side. He attached one each to the forceps and the other onto his waist coat. And then he leaned back. And the pain got more intense. And then he leaned back in. Relief. And this went on for a while, him just rocking there and me wincing in pain. At some point, I was biting into his hand.
I endured this for a long while but it came to a point where the pain was getting more intense (he had increased the tightness). I told him I needed a break, and quickly, he was happy to let me out. I wish I didn't have to called for it to end as I was really enjoying the session but my nipples were calling for mercy.
We spent the rest of the night chatting with people, and he played a little bit with someone else. When the event came to an end, though, I offered to walk with him to the train station. Turns out we needed to take the same train - I was heading home and he was going to another party. Somehow along the journey, though, I agreed to go to the other party with him.
It wasn't really my scene but I was hanging out there, hoping that he'd play with me a little more. For a long time, I just stood to the side as someone else got his attention. After that guy came, we started chatting again and I told him, for probably the 100th time that night, that I really liked his boots.
He gave me a funny look and said nothing. He removed the collar from his waist and put it around me. He then attached a leash to it. I had no idea what was about to happen. Before I knew it, he pulled the leash down and soon, I was on my knees. With his boots in my perfect view, he raised his leg and stepped on the leash making me come face to face with his boots.
I have never licked boots in my life but immediately, I knew what he wanted me to do and I did it. I wanted to be his submissive that night, and I wanted to please him. I knew licking his boots would do that. I spent quite a long time on the them but I didn't mind. I knew he was happy.
Suddenly, he pulled me up to his face and asked: "Do you want to go one step further?" I didn't answer but the look on my face must have said "Yes" because he then asked me to lie on my back. I did it immediately and wasn't sure what was to come. In a split second, I saw the sole of his boots in my face. "Lick it" he said.
At that point, I was going to say no. I really wanted to say no but all my other instincts were telling me to go ahead with it. I really wanted to please him and so I did. It wasn't the most pleasant experience but I stuck to it.
Then, he removed his boots from my face and stepped on my chest and thus began a long session of breath play in ways I've never experienced before. He used his weight to control my breathing and it was probably one of the most intense things I've done in BDSM. That went on for a while, with him mixing it up with hand gagging me and pinching my nose as well. I was in total sub space.
Later on, he pulled me up to my knees again and pulled my face into his crotch. I went for his cock through his jeans and he slowly allowed me to undo his it and remove his pants as well. He worked me really hard on his cock and balls, and there were moments when I wished I had some poppers to help me please him better.
But then it got late, and I was obviously struggling with his big cock, and he decided to let me take a break. I knew at that point that the break was the end of our session. True enough, the cuffs came off and so did the collar.
I really can't complain though, it was really a great session which pushed my limits. The only thing I wished for that I didn't get was him playing with my own cock. But I guess as a submissive, you don't always get what you want.
The marks from the pegs stayed for almost a week to remind me of what a hot session it was.
My friends agreed with me when I walked up to them, poked them and pointed at him while whining, "He's so hot!"
It was until much later that I summoned the courage to speak to him. He was seated in the corner at the back of the room and he was talking to some people. He didn't look like he wanted to talk to them. I only spotted this because I was heading to the toilets nearby. Wanting to get a little close to him, I plonked my beer down nearby him as I walked away, hoping to start a conversation with him when I got back.
It took about 10 minutes before I had the courage to smile at him. After that, it was pretty easy. He was very nice and we exchanged formalities. I then told him how much I really liked his boots, although I'm not really into boots myself. A couple of my friends came up and chatted to us, and at one point, he even let me try out the cuffs and a collar with a zapper.
At one point, I asked him what he was into, and if he was more Dominant or submissive. He looked at me aghast, and asked: "What do I look like to you?"
He had a mohawk of sorts, a beard. He wore a T-shirt that read: "Rough" and a waistcoat over. There was a leather armband too. He had his jeans folded up until just below his knees, only just covering the top of the most beautiful pair of knee high boots. Around his waist were several items including cuffs, floggers and a collar. One his face, there was a really nice eyebrow piercing and he had a couple of other ear piercings as well.
I think that was the defining moment when I realised I could trust him - he handed me the controller and said to test it myself. If you read my previous post, I don't trust people all to easily. That is one of the reasons why I haven't explored too much of being a submissive (as opposed to just being submissive).
A lot of our conversation centred around some of the things he's interested in, and why he didn't seem to be having too good a time that night. At one point, I suggested he go around and see if he can find someone to play with - I assured him that he would be hot property. He took my advice and left, and I regretted it immediately.
My friends all noticed this, so when he came back empty-handed, one of them turned to him and said, "You should tie someone up" while pointing at me. He looked at me, I blushed and that's all that needed to be said. He grabbed my hand and took me to a pillar in the middle of the room.
It started pretty simple. He roped my legs up real tight (I already knew he would be rough - his T-shirt said it all - but this pretty much confirmed it) to the pillar. Then, he added more rope around my body to my legs and the pillar. I thought it was a bit odd that he'd leave my hands free but he must have read my mind because right then, he started fiddling with something above my head.
He was fixing something so that my hands can be suspended above my head, stretching me out. Well played.
When I was sufficiently secured, he put a ball gag into my mouth. I wasn't just helpless at this stage ... I wanted to be helpless to him.
He digged into his bag and I saw him remove a head of clothes pegs. I knew pain was coming as he started pinching around my body, looking for the best places to attach the pegs. What I didn't expect was the last two - each peg had a piece of string attached to it. Yup, he was going to zip-line them and rip them off.
I was really afraid, but I totally got into it. He ripped one side at a time and I screamed into the gag. Afterwards, a few people would come up to me and tell me how painful it all looked. It did hurt, but I was willing to take the pain for him.
At that point, he took the gag off and I thought it was over. "That was quick," I said to myself but obviously, I thought too soon. He removed two forceps hooked to his waist and waved them in front of me. I've never tried them before so I was a bit scared. When they came on, they hurt a lot - and I had just endured some intense pain before!
But he was not just going to let them hang there. He took out two long elastic bands which had hooks on either side. He attached one each to the forceps and the other onto his waist coat. And then he leaned back. And the pain got more intense. And then he leaned back in. Relief. And this went on for a while, him just rocking there and me wincing in pain. At some point, I was biting into his hand.
I endured this for a long while but it came to a point where the pain was getting more intense (he had increased the tightness). I told him I needed a break, and quickly, he was happy to let me out. I wish I didn't have to called for it to end as I was really enjoying the session but my nipples were calling for mercy.
We spent the rest of the night chatting with people, and he played a little bit with someone else. When the event came to an end, though, I offered to walk with him to the train station. Turns out we needed to take the same train - I was heading home and he was going to another party. Somehow along the journey, though, I agreed to go to the other party with him.
It wasn't really my scene but I was hanging out there, hoping that he'd play with me a little more. For a long time, I just stood to the side as someone else got his attention. After that guy came, we started chatting again and I told him, for probably the 100th time that night, that I really liked his boots.
He gave me a funny look and said nothing. He removed the collar from his waist and put it around me. He then attached a leash to it. I had no idea what was about to happen. Before I knew it, he pulled the leash down and soon, I was on my knees. With his boots in my perfect view, he raised his leg and stepped on the leash making me come face to face with his boots.
I have never licked boots in my life but immediately, I knew what he wanted me to do and I did it. I wanted to be his submissive that night, and I wanted to please him. I knew licking his boots would do that. I spent quite a long time on the them but I didn't mind. I knew he was happy.
Suddenly, he pulled me up to his face and asked: "Do you want to go one step further?" I didn't answer but the look on my face must have said "Yes" because he then asked me to lie on my back. I did it immediately and wasn't sure what was to come. In a split second, I saw the sole of his boots in my face. "Lick it" he said.
At that point, I was going to say no. I really wanted to say no but all my other instincts were telling me to go ahead with it. I really wanted to please him and so I did. It wasn't the most pleasant experience but I stuck to it.
Then, he removed his boots from my face and stepped on my chest and thus began a long session of breath play in ways I've never experienced before. He used his weight to control my breathing and it was probably one of the most intense things I've done in BDSM. That went on for a while, with him mixing it up with hand gagging me and pinching my nose as well. I was in total sub space.
Later on, he pulled me up to my knees again and pulled my face into his crotch. I went for his cock through his jeans and he slowly allowed me to undo his it and remove his pants as well. He worked me really hard on his cock and balls, and there were moments when I wished I had some poppers to help me please him better.
But then it got late, and I was obviously struggling with his big cock, and he decided to let me take a break. I knew at that point that the break was the end of our session. True enough, the cuffs came off and so did the collar.
I really can't complain though, it was really a great session which pushed my limits. The only thing I wished for that I didn't get was him playing with my own cock. But I guess as a submissive, you don't always get what you want.
The marks from the pegs stayed for almost a week to remind me of what a hot session it was.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Best session of my life
The headline for this blog post would explain why I have decided to "revive" this blog after giving up on it with just one post in the past.
Not many people have access to this blog, in that they don't know it exists. My older blog where I posted updates from my webcam adventures, and another one where I store all my original fiction, are much more public than this.
For me, this blog has always been about keeping track of some of my most memorable sessions. I've had a few since and had told myself that I should start writing again, but I just never got to it.
Last Monday's session, however, was a different story.
Some background details: I've been messaging D on Recon for the longest time now. His replies were often curt and somewhat dismissive, but the fact that he always replied made me think that it wasn't that he wasn't interested.
My foray into kink, and my account on Recon, has not always been just about play. I've found some great people to have sessions with over the years, for sure, but more than that, I always hope to find like-minded friends and stay on in the hopes that out of these many connections, I might end up settling down with someone.
Most of my sessions to date have been very much about the acts of bondage and teasing. I'd usually show up, have a drink and a chat, and then start playing. When we're done, I get untied, I help pack up, we might chat a bit more and leave. For me, that has been the safest way to approach BDSM because I feel I have so little experience despite the years of my experience, and that I have many limits. Of course, it's a trust issue as well because most of my sessions have been one-offs, that I don't feel I can trust the Doms enough to just submit.
The couple of times I've tried this who submission thing didn't work out too well for me. The first guy wasn't too experienced (despite his claims otherwise) so besides the boredom, I couldn't really get into it. The second guy was far more experienced, but more aggressive as well. I remember that after some inspection, he immediately got me to rim him. It's something I couldn't do, and I tried a couple of times that night, but the moment he knew I couldn't go through with it, decided to untie me and send me off.
So meeting D was a big deal. I didn't know what to expect from him but for some reason - whether it was because he was hot or just been kind in his communication with me - I felt like I could trust him. It helped that we have mutual acquaintances and had met once at a party so that made it easier to trust him I suppose.
I was locked in a CB for six days before I met him so I was sufficiently horny. Having said that, in the few hours before I was due to meet him, I wasn't overly horned up. I suspect it is because of my concern for the events of the night. It could go extremely well, or horribly wrong.
The moment I walked in, he imposed authority despite being kinds about it by offering me a drink and a visit to the loo before we started. Once I was done, he got started immediately, making me stand with my head down and hands on it. He sat nearby asking me questions, but this totally set me up to enter sub space.
The first thing that worked for me was the chain collar around me. I had been visiting a couple of fetish stores the couple of days leading up to the session and the one thing in the whole store I really wanted was that chain. My reasons for this is probably worth a post on its own, so I will leave it for now and go back to the session.
There was the initial inspection at various forms of undress while answering questions before he made me break the CB myself. I thought that was a specifically good touch in that it wasn't him who had locked me up. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it indicated to me a Dom who also knew his place and respect.
Then, he got me into a rubber catsuit and a straightjacket, much to my thrill. I was thinking then that I could really get into rubber. I had tried it once before but for some reason, there was a different sensation that came from wearing it on that night.
Somewhere in between all these rationale thoughts swirling through my head, he had put a blindfold on me (or was it a hood? Some parts of the night remains hazy and a blur) and a ball gag. What really got me to stop thinking however was the immediate start of edging. And this would go on for a while and I ended up begging to cum.
"Already?" I remember him asking. "You're still at my front door?"
I'm not sure how much times passed by I was then lead by a heavy chain (which was connected to my collar and at some point during the edging and a bit of CBT, rolled around my cock and balls like a massive cockring) to his cellar. He was very cautious and comforting, guiding me carefully whenever there was steps and having his hand on top of my head wherever the ceiling was too low (he even explained to me why the cellar had such a low ceiling!).
The chain was connect to what felt like a pipe at the side and I was kneeling on a cushion mat. He spoke to me for a bit and told me he was going to leave me there alone for a few minutes. He wanted me to think about two things - the first was what I really wanted to do that night, and the other was what I really didn't want to do which does not include cumming. He then promised: "I'll do one of the two to you tonight".
Those few minutes felt like forever and I found myself over thinking it. There were so many things I wanted to try, but felt like I didn't want to dictate the session. Then I wondered if the second thing I was to think about was a trick - should I choose something that I probably don't want but don't mind trying? These thoughts, the cold, the fear and the situation really made me feel helpless and submissive.
By the time I heard him coming back, I still hadn't made up my mind. In many ways, I already had but I didn't decide what to tell him until he asked me what my answer was.
1. I wanted to learn to serve him better.
2. I had rated my kinks on a site before I met him, and I knew I mentioned that I was curious about watersports. I'm not sure why I did that, considering I've not done it before and not really sure if I wanted to. So I explained that to him.
We didn't do the second one the whole night but we totally got into the first. A lot of things happened in the cellar with me on my knees, many of which I had never tried before. He made me pleasure him by licking, sucking and biting on his nipples. He even controlled the intensity of my actions by playing around with mine. It was as if I was being controlled remotely.
There was a lot of cock sucking as well, and I struggled a bit with this particularly gagging at the deep throating. There was a lot of edging as well in between all this, leaving me hornier and more subservient. At one stage, he disappeared and returned with some poppers. I had not done this before and he asked if I was open to it. The experience was going so well that I knew I could trust him to with it.
I'm not sure the poppers had the effect I was expecting - then again, I wasn't sure what to expect - but in retrospect, I think I did a lot of things that night which I probably wouldn't have been able to if not for some "help". He told me the same thing after. In fact, after it had worn off, he asked me if it worked for me. I couldn't be sure - my whole body was experiencing so many new things that I wasn't sure what was causing which reaction.
Two hours into my arrival, he brought me into another room and lay me down, still in the rubber suit and straightjacket. He offered me a drink and we took a break, just chatting about what had happened and things in general. I was still in a daze, to be honest, and for the life of me, cannot remember our conversation.
After a while, he got me to remove the rubber suit (after letting me out of the straight jacket), hand my hands cuffed and said, "Welcome to part three".
Part three was me restrained spread eagle via chains (also, a first time!) on the dining table. I won't describe the scene chronologically because I got lost amid it all. In that hour, I experienced an amazing array of sensations - breath control through a gas mask, nipple clamps of different intensity, more poppers, cock pump, pin wheel, ice cold water being splashed all over me, an intense orgasm and an extensive post-orgasm milking which drove me wild.
There was a lot of screaming I remember but, as D explained to me later, my cock barely went soft throughout the session.
He left me there bound as I recuperated from the session and he packed things up and showed me some of the other gear he had (and showed me what he had used on me). When he finally let me go, he told me that the collar was to stay until I leave.
I fell in love with the idea, and was really glad that he actually suggested it. A quick shower and helping him pack up, the night was over. We chatted more over some wine and then I was on my way, heading home from what I can only describe as the best session of my life.
Not many people have access to this blog, in that they don't know it exists. My older blog where I posted updates from my webcam adventures, and another one where I store all my original fiction, are much more public than this.
For me, this blog has always been about keeping track of some of my most memorable sessions. I've had a few since and had told myself that I should start writing again, but I just never got to it.
Last Monday's session, however, was a different story.
Some background details: I've been messaging D on Recon for the longest time now. His replies were often curt and somewhat dismissive, but the fact that he always replied made me think that it wasn't that he wasn't interested.
My foray into kink, and my account on Recon, has not always been just about play. I've found some great people to have sessions with over the years, for sure, but more than that, I always hope to find like-minded friends and stay on in the hopes that out of these many connections, I might end up settling down with someone.
Most of my sessions to date have been very much about the acts of bondage and teasing. I'd usually show up, have a drink and a chat, and then start playing. When we're done, I get untied, I help pack up, we might chat a bit more and leave. For me, that has been the safest way to approach BDSM because I feel I have so little experience despite the years of my experience, and that I have many limits. Of course, it's a trust issue as well because most of my sessions have been one-offs, that I don't feel I can trust the Doms enough to just submit.
The couple of times I've tried this who submission thing didn't work out too well for me. The first guy wasn't too experienced (despite his claims otherwise) so besides the boredom, I couldn't really get into it. The second guy was far more experienced, but more aggressive as well. I remember that after some inspection, he immediately got me to rim him. It's something I couldn't do, and I tried a couple of times that night, but the moment he knew I couldn't go through with it, decided to untie me and send me off.
So meeting D was a big deal. I didn't know what to expect from him but for some reason - whether it was because he was hot or just been kind in his communication with me - I felt like I could trust him. It helped that we have mutual acquaintances and had met once at a party so that made it easier to trust him I suppose.
I was locked in a CB for six days before I met him so I was sufficiently horny. Having said that, in the few hours before I was due to meet him, I wasn't overly horned up. I suspect it is because of my concern for the events of the night. It could go extremely well, or horribly wrong.
The moment I walked in, he imposed authority despite being kinds about it by offering me a drink and a visit to the loo before we started. Once I was done, he got started immediately, making me stand with my head down and hands on it. He sat nearby asking me questions, but this totally set me up to enter sub space.
The first thing that worked for me was the chain collar around me. I had been visiting a couple of fetish stores the couple of days leading up to the session and the one thing in the whole store I really wanted was that chain. My reasons for this is probably worth a post on its own, so I will leave it for now and go back to the session.
There was the initial inspection at various forms of undress while answering questions before he made me break the CB myself. I thought that was a specifically good touch in that it wasn't him who had locked me up. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it indicated to me a Dom who also knew his place and respect.
Then, he got me into a rubber catsuit and a straightjacket, much to my thrill. I was thinking then that I could really get into rubber. I had tried it once before but for some reason, there was a different sensation that came from wearing it on that night.
Somewhere in between all these rationale thoughts swirling through my head, he had put a blindfold on me (or was it a hood? Some parts of the night remains hazy and a blur) and a ball gag. What really got me to stop thinking however was the immediate start of edging. And this would go on for a while and I ended up begging to cum.
"Already?" I remember him asking. "You're still at my front door?"
I'm not sure how much times passed by I was then lead by a heavy chain (which was connected to my collar and at some point during the edging and a bit of CBT, rolled around my cock and balls like a massive cockring) to his cellar. He was very cautious and comforting, guiding me carefully whenever there was steps and having his hand on top of my head wherever the ceiling was too low (he even explained to me why the cellar had such a low ceiling!).
The chain was connect to what felt like a pipe at the side and I was kneeling on a cushion mat. He spoke to me for a bit and told me he was going to leave me there alone for a few minutes. He wanted me to think about two things - the first was what I really wanted to do that night, and the other was what I really didn't want to do which does not include cumming. He then promised: "I'll do one of the two to you tonight".
Those few minutes felt like forever and I found myself over thinking it. There were so many things I wanted to try, but felt like I didn't want to dictate the session. Then I wondered if the second thing I was to think about was a trick - should I choose something that I probably don't want but don't mind trying? These thoughts, the cold, the fear and the situation really made me feel helpless and submissive.
By the time I heard him coming back, I still hadn't made up my mind. In many ways, I already had but I didn't decide what to tell him until he asked me what my answer was.
1. I wanted to learn to serve him better.
2. I had rated my kinks on a site before I met him, and I knew I mentioned that I was curious about watersports. I'm not sure why I did that, considering I've not done it before and not really sure if I wanted to. So I explained that to him.
We didn't do the second one the whole night but we totally got into the first. A lot of things happened in the cellar with me on my knees, many of which I had never tried before. He made me pleasure him by licking, sucking and biting on his nipples. He even controlled the intensity of my actions by playing around with mine. It was as if I was being controlled remotely.
There was a lot of cock sucking as well, and I struggled a bit with this particularly gagging at the deep throating. There was a lot of edging as well in between all this, leaving me hornier and more subservient. At one stage, he disappeared and returned with some poppers. I had not done this before and he asked if I was open to it. The experience was going so well that I knew I could trust him to with it.
I'm not sure the poppers had the effect I was expecting - then again, I wasn't sure what to expect - but in retrospect, I think I did a lot of things that night which I probably wouldn't have been able to if not for some "help". He told me the same thing after. In fact, after it had worn off, he asked me if it worked for me. I couldn't be sure - my whole body was experiencing so many new things that I wasn't sure what was causing which reaction.
Two hours into my arrival, he brought me into another room and lay me down, still in the rubber suit and straightjacket. He offered me a drink and we took a break, just chatting about what had happened and things in general. I was still in a daze, to be honest, and for the life of me, cannot remember our conversation.
After a while, he got me to remove the rubber suit (after letting me out of the straight jacket), hand my hands cuffed and said, "Welcome to part three".
Part three was me restrained spread eagle via chains (also, a first time!) on the dining table. I won't describe the scene chronologically because I got lost amid it all. In that hour, I experienced an amazing array of sensations - breath control through a gas mask, nipple clamps of different intensity, more poppers, cock pump, pin wheel, ice cold water being splashed all over me, an intense orgasm and an extensive post-orgasm milking which drove me wild.
There was a lot of screaming I remember but, as D explained to me later, my cock barely went soft throughout the session.
He left me there bound as I recuperated from the session and he packed things up and showed me some of the other gear he had (and showed me what he had used on me). When he finally let me go, he told me that the collar was to stay until I leave.
I fell in love with the idea, and was really glad that he actually suggested it. A quick shower and helping him pack up, the night was over. We chatted more over some wine and then I was on my way, heading home from what I can only describe as the best session of my life.
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